Jessica of SOMA

Ever look at a picture of an escort (or any other hot gal) you had the pleasure of banging and found yourself glowing with pride (and lust) as you thought to yourself, “Dude! I can’t believe I got to fuck her!”

That’s how I felt when I found this picture of Jessica of SOMA online. SOMA, for the uninitiated, refers to the area South Of MArket Street in San Francisco. Jessica, to my knowledge, still uses a luxury apartment in this area for her baseops. She is also 5’3”, 110 lbs, was probably about 27 when I saw her back in 2000, kind of resembles Lisa Hartman Black (at right), and has a stripper’s body with big, gorgeous enhanced tits. I wish the photo showed her face, but I guess the girl still likes her privacy.

I only saw Jessica the one time, and frankly, the reason I didn’t repeat was because I felt she rushed our session. Not that she didn’t deliver, but I treat my women as I do my food…I like to enjoy them unhurried. I like to linger over them. Sue me. I also didn’t appreciate being rushed considering I paid $250 for the session.

I found Jessica via her ad in either the SF Weekly or the Bay Guardian (I can’t remember which). It said something like “Beautiful Green Eyed Blonde” yada yada and that was enough for me. I consulted a couple of reviews on SFRedbook.com and they were favorable. Jessica was nice and polite on the phone, so off I went.

Did the whole two-call thing and went to her place. Very pleased at what I saw…this blonde petite hottie in a little gold (as opposed to little black) dress, wearing clear Plexiglas fuck-me pumps. Wasn’t very pleased that she asked for the dinero up front and counted the shit right in front of me. She offered me a glass of water and stood there waiting while I drank it. She didn’t even try to make small talk on the couch or anything like that.

OK, whatever. I wasn’t there for conversation anyway. So we stepped into the bedroom and got naked. My eyes nearly fell out of my head when I saw her tits. Like I said, this chick had a stripper’s bod, and she was, at the time, definitely the hottest escort I’d ever been with. All the other women I’d banged up to that time – Susan, Toni, Kate, Sandra, Victoria Lyons – looked like average, everyday women, but Jessica looked like a centerfold come to life. A centerfold I was going to get to fuck! I’d never screwed a gal with bolt-ons before, but they looked fantastic. Her whole body looked fantastic; she had kept on a white garter belt and white stockings and her pumps. I told her she looked totally hot. She smiled and thanked me for the compliment, then asked “Do you wanna suck on my tits?”

Well, of course I did, so I sat on the bed and she hopped on my lap and shoved those melons in my face. I indulged for several minutes, then Jessica got off me, wheeled around, got down and started blowing me. I lay flat on my back and just grooved on this hot chick’s mouth around my cock and the techno music she had bumping on the stereo. Since then I’ve always enjoyed techno when I’m boning a chick; something about it feels so primal. I feel like a sexual animal whose sole purpose is to fuck.

I knew I didn’t want to come in Jessica’s mouth because I desperately wanted to fuck her. I figured I could probably get a blowjob to completion on the second round, but wanted to ensure a good hard-on for the first round so I could fuck effectively. This is a system I’ve employed ever since with satisfying success. Pussy first, blowjob to completion last. If anal is on the menu, that immediately goes first. I’ve had chicks suck my totally limp and spent dick back to hardness and blastoff, mainly because by that time I wasn’t stressed about getting hard enough to penetrate a vagina or ass. Try it sometime; it works!

So I told Jessica I wanted to move to the Main Event, and on went the rubber. She assumed the doggie style position, and I went for it. It was like a dream cum true…a totally hot girl with a Perfect 10 body slamming her creamy ass against me while I slammed Mister Stiffy in deep. I remember holding her hips and grunting, “Ooh Yeah! Ooh YEAH!” while I fucked, all the while watching us in her mirrored closet doors, which turned me on even more.

After I blew my load, we made small talk while I rested and played with her tits with one hand. The interlude was OK, she seemed intelligent, but I remember that she kept asking if I was ready to go again. It kinda pissed me off, but I also didn’t want her to get tired of waiting and deny me a second round, so after only a few minutes I told her I was ready.

On went another condom, and I sat propped up against some pillows while Jessica’s head bobbed up and down in my lap. She even turned her body so her ass was reflected in the mirrored panels on her closet door and said “I’m gonna give you a show,” while reaching behind her and playing with her pussy with one hand.

I appreciated the show. I shot my load in short order, then told her she’d given me the best blowjob I’d had in a long time. I love being able to speak frankly with chicks like that.

When I left, I gave her a hug and promised to see her again, then went home and wrote my review on Redbook, making sure to stress the point that I felt rushed. I would’ve liked to see Jessica again, but I also need to get the maximum value for my escort dollar, and so never went back.

Maybe she’s changed her m.o.. and has adopted a more leisurely pace to her sessions. Well, if I won the lottery, I’d definitely go back.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

It's the day before Christmas, and I want to wish all you horndogs a very happy holiday. Whether your favorite elf is named Merry, Holly, or anything else, may you get in her stockings, slide in and out of her chimney, admire her ornaments, and give her your big candy cane to lick.

My Wish List: Erica Stone

WOWSERS! I stumbled across Erica Stone by accident on SF Redbook and...I absolutely HAVE TO FUCK THIS WOMAN! She evidently travels down to L.A. quite a bit and charges $300 per session (a sum I have heretofore never paid for sex), but I'm going to have to make an exception. I mean, guys...LOOK at her! She's so hot! And her reviews on the hobbyist boards are all top-drawer. Plus, she loves to kiss! Can you imagine making out with such a hot chick, knowing you're going to slip her the salami? And, of course, dig those TITS! Her website is www.meetericastone.com. If anyone has had the pleazure, please e-mail me or comment! Yummy yummy yummy!

My Favorite Pornstars: Alicia Rhodes

Speaking of British girls, you owe it to yourself and your balls to check out anything starring Alicia Rhodes. This chick is hot, has big tits, great DSLs, and is N-A-S-T-Y. She talks dirty, dirty, dirty and I always shoot off a big load when I watch her movies while stroking myself. What I wouldn't give to fuck that mouth and those tits. And that pussy and that ass, too. Mmmm mmmm GOOD!

Victoria Lyons

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A Hot Pic

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My Wish List: Lacie O.

From time to time, I'm also going to mention providers I've discovered online that I intend to try out when I get the time/dinero.

This gal's name is Lacie O. Her website is www.lacieo.com. If anybody has ever had the pleasure of her company, please comment or e-mail me.

She's evidently in Orange County and looks hot and trashy, the way I like them. I can already envision getting that magenta lipstick smeared all over my cock, as well as my hands all over those big, juicy gazongas. And check out that ASS! Nice and plump, ripe for my hands to knead like dough while I skewer her doggie-style. Mmmmmmmm! Yeah, I know, she ain't no size 2, but for you guys who only like 'em skinny, you don't know what you're missin'!

Lacie, I'm CUMMIN' for ya!

My Favorite Pornstars: Deauxma

God, would I LOVE to fuck Deauxma! I mean, look at those fuckin' TITS! Plus, she's a MILF, which you horndogs know turns me on from the get-go. Howcum I couldn't have met an older babe like her when I was a horny teenager?

Sandra

In 1999 I started seeing Sandra, who advertised her wares in the San Francisco Weekly classifieds. Her ad read “Betty Grable legs, Bettie Page Ass. You know what you want. So come get it.”. And so I did. She charged $180 for an hour session, which included Greek.

Yes, that’s right, horndogs. For $180, this woman would let me fuck her in the ASS!

Anyway, Sandra was a funky artist-type in her mid-30s with a pretty, pixie face, bright eyes, short hair that she dyed a different color every time I saw her, small breasts, a slim little bod and a decent ass and legs. She kinda resembled actress Leslie Hope (shown here) whom fans of the show “24” will recall played the wife of Kiefer Sutherland’s character. In fact, whenever I see Leslie Hope on TV, I get a stiffy.


Sandra lived in a studio apartment just off San Francisco’s Union Square; the place was always littered with clothes and art supplies and smelled of incense. Sandra was a good conversationalist and we would always chat about various subjects: art, politics, the news, her childhood in Maine, music, and all things counterculture. Sometimes we would smoke a little weed before getting busy; sometimes I’d bring a bottle of wine, too.

But you don’t want to hear about all that, do you? You want to hear about the GOOD stuff. Well, for starters, Sandra and I would make out. Yes, finally I’d found an escort that would kiss. And I mean delicious, wide-open-mouth, lots-of-tongue French kissing. It was great. Her mouth felt great. Once she even wore lipgloss with glitter in it, which quickly smeared all over my mouth and body and turned me on even more. No, I wasn’t into wearing makeup; I just felt like I was about to have sex with some uninhibited punker chick, which I was. Lying naked on her futon bed, my cock rapidly stiffening up and brushing her hairy pussy, we would swap spit for a long time. I could’ve made out with her all day and be satisfied.

No, that’s not true. Sandra would then kiss her way down my body to my cock, which she would take in her mouth and begin servicing. Her blowjobs were, overall, just average in quality, but Sandra had one move where she would hold my cock in her mouth for minutes at a time, not moving, but all the while making a humming sound with her mouth and vibrating my cock. It felt good, but really all it did was make me impatient and start pumping my hips, anxious to get her lips sliding up and down my rod again.

I’d also try to eat her pussy, as always through Saran Wrap, but either I wasn’t doing something right or she didn’t care for it, because she always just laid there without moving or making a sound.

Whatever. I needed to fuck, anyway. And fortunately Sandra would always assume the position enthusiastically, spreading her legs wide or bending right over so I could put my dick in her. And I wish I could say her tunnel was nice and tight, but it wasn’t. It was roomy and loose, a probable testament to how many cocks she’d taken in there over time. I would have to work pretty hard to get some good friction, after which I’d either shoot off inside her or pull out and dump a load of spunk on her little tits.

But what about her ASS, you ask?

Sandra was not the first woman I’d screwed in the seat, but she was definitely the most unique I’d ever had back there. I’d stroke myself to a good hard-on and slip on a well-lubed condom, then insert myself into her back door with a surgeon’s precision. She’d grunt and squirm while I negotiated the opening. Once she even scolded me because I was making her uncomfortable, so in return I shoved my cock in hard and fast, pretending I was a barbarian warrior savagely violating a captured maiden. I’d grunt and bellow my pleasure…and she’d begin barking like a dog.

I am NOT fucking kidding! The chick would bark like a terrier, wiggling her ass all around while I skewered it. The first time it happened I was speechless. The second time I just slapped her ass and said, “That’s it, baby! Bark for me!” And I’d go on plowing her Hershey Highway until money shot time came and I sprayed all over her sweet cheeks.

Afterward, we’d lie there and do the usual…kiss and chat until I got dressed and left with the scent of incense and her body odor in my nostrils and my dick limp with satisfaction.

I would go on to bone Sandra for the next 3 years until she inexplicably dropped out of sight. I always figured she’d retired from the biz…until I learned through reliable sources that she’d had some sort of mental breakdown and wound up living in a San Francisco mental institution for a year. After that she’d gone back to Maine to try and reconnect with her family, a journey that had many twists and turns before she finally settled into a normal life in a small town in Massachusetts. She also stopped being an escort, choosing to make an honest living instead of taking cocks up her ass.

I’m happy for Sandra, and am glad she found her happy ending. She always gave them to me! :)